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thesecretdoorPairing: JunDa
Rating: PG-15 (slight language and mentions of sex)
Word Count: 1695
Disclaimer: I still haven't found a way to make them my slaves yet...
Summary: It was all supposed to end with the tour...but what if they can't stop? What if they won't stop? How will it affect their relationship, and their relationships with those closest to them?
June 11th 2012
The first thing he noticed was the pain, he must have tried to roll over and pain shot through his lower back. For a moment he was startled and confused, but then the memories of the previous night flooded back to him, he gasped, disbelieving that he’d actually gone through with it. He glanced to his side, Taguchi was still sleeping peacefully beside him, but somehow now he seemed terrifying, the power he’d had over Ueda the previous night. Ueda mentally scolded himself for his weakness, cringing at the memory of laying back, legs spread like a whore, and giving himself completely to the other man like some naive, trusting school girl.
He turned away disgusted, but quickly realised it was his own actions he was ashamed of, the other man had done only what he had asked. He felt angry tears prickling behind his eyes and knew he had to get up and pull himself together, what’s done is done, he thought as he swung his legs as gently as he could off the side of the bed. He had to use the bedside table to pull himself up, and then he managed to stand, more limping than walking to the bathroom. He could feel Taguchi’s release where it had slid out of him, and when his muscles twitched at the thought of it he could feel more dripping out. He looked then at his chest, his own release smeared over it and he couldn’t help but remember how good it was, how deep and strong and powerful it had felt, he felt dirty.
He climbed straight into the shower, turning on the water extra hot as he scrubbed the evidence from his body, and somehow it helped to soothe his mind as well as his aching muscles. By the time he exited the shower he felt almost clean, and he felt like he had at least accepted what had happened, even if he did feel a little ashamed of himself. Now the most pressing issue for him was the pain, it wasn’t the worst he’d felt but he certainly didn’t feel like driving home to go out running with the dogs as he’d planned. As he walked back into Taguchi’s bedroom he noticed it was still dark, the clock on the cabinet said it was only 5 in the morning, and suddenly he felt how sleepy he was. Reluctantly he climbed back into the bed, he couldn’t exactly go home like this so he figured he may as well get some more sleep.
He glanced back over at Taguchi and felt a little angry at his peaceful face, technically he did deserve half the blame for his current condition. Without thinking he reached over and punched Taguchi, a little harder than necessary, in the shoulder.
“What?” Taguchi asked alarmed as the punch woke him.
“Jackass!” Ueda shouted at him “I was going out running with the dogs today but because of you I’m in far too much pain...fucking...jackass” he concluded before rolling to face away from the other man and attempting to sleep. The outburst had somewhat abated his anger and so he didn’t protest too much when Taguchi shuffled closer to him.
“Baka” Taguchi chuckled and then he placed a few gentle kisses on Ueda’s shoulder before wrapping an arm around him and tugging him closer.
The next time he woke up the clock said it was past 11. He glanced to the side and noticed a note on Taguchi’s pillow. ‘Breakfast is in the kitchen’.
He got up slowly, the pain in his back almost gone now, and pulled on the pyjamas Taguchi had left at the end of the bed for him. They were his own that Taguchi had borrowed previously but there was something different about them, somehow they seemed cosier and more relaxing. He shrugged off the thought as he dressed in them, blaming it on Taguchi’s detergent.
When he arrived in the kitchen there was a delicious smell of cooked rice, eggs left on the sideboard and a small pan of miso soup heating on the stove. He took a little of everything and set it on the kotatsu before going back to find something to drink, he was surprised when he opened the fridge to find some of the protein shakes he usually drank at home, and a small note on the front of the first bottle saying there was oolong teabags in the cupboard too. He smiled despite himself and then opted for some tea.
He wondered briefly where Taguchi was, but since he’d taken the care to leave notes everywhere he figured he hadn’t been kidnapped or anything. He took his tea back to the kotatsu with him and sat down to eat. When he reached for the TV remote he found the other note. ‘Just gone out for a while, I’ll be back soon.’ He stuck the note to his mug and then flipped on the TV, smiling when he found it already on the anime channel. “Baka” he whispered to himself.
After his sleep he was feeling much better about the previous night. He still felt a little embarrassed, after all he was the stoic boxer of the group, he just wasn’t used to feeling so vulnerable and allowing so much control to other people. He didn’t have a problem with the act itself either, he’d been happy to let Taguchi do that for him many times, if anything he felt he owed it to the other man to let him be in control every once in a while.
He couldn’t deny it had been pretty incredible too. Sure, at first it was scary and painful and he’d felt like he was being ripped open from the inside out, but after that had subsided it had felt more intense than any other sexual experience he’d had, and if he was honest, he was already longing to feel that intensity again.
It was around 12 when Taguchi finally returned, bringing with him two small, very excited dogs. It was the dogs he saw first, they rushed towards him, jumping up and licking at his face, even jumping up on the sofa behind him to get closer to attack him from the air.
“Hey, what happened to the rest of them” he pouted when Taguchi finally came into view.
“You’ve seen my car right?” he smiled back.”They’re at home, fed and watered and walked and everything. I just thought you might be missing them.”
Ueda was busy tousling his dog’s fur, playing with them. “Thank you, that’s sweet.” And then he turned back to fuss the dogs again. Taguchi rolled his eyes and then picked up Ueda’s breakfast pots, taking them to the kitchen to wash them. He’d already been up quite early clearing up and washing pots from the previous night, but something about cleaning up after Ueda made him feel a little warm inside.
By the time he’d finished the dogs were off exploring his apartment and Ueda was sat on the sofa. He went to sit beside the other man.
“How are you feeling now?” he asked seriously.
“Better” Ueda replied almost shyly.
Taguchi smiled “You were pretty pissed at me this morning”
Ueda nodded, blushing “I’m sorry, I was in a strange mood when I woke up, but I feel better about it now.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Taguchi pushed gently.
After a few moments of consideration, Ueda thought it best to just come clean and be honest with him “I felt kind of dirty...like a slut.”
An expression of surprise passed briefly over Taguchi’s features but he collected himself before speaking “What made you feel like that?”
Ueda could sense how hurt he felt, but he knew it would hurt more to lie about it. “I don’t know...I guess it’s just strange for me...feeling that vulnerable and liking it.” He paused for a while but Taguchi didn’t say anything “I want to do it again though...I liked it, and I know I don’t need to be scared about trusting you...”
“You don’t” Taguchi conceded, finally looking up at him “You know that I would never try to make you do anything you weren’t sure about...” he took Ueda’s hand in his own “I don’t want to hurt you. I...You’re my friend, I care about you.”
“Thank you” Ueda replied quietly, taking his hand back from Taguchi “I care about you too...” There was an awkward silence for a few moments. “I’m sorry...for hurting you before.”
“When?” Taguchi asked confused.
“The first time...I know I hurt you pretty bad.”
Taguchi nodded, it would be a lie to say it didn’t hurt. “I forgive you.”
Ueda looked up at him and smiled “Thank you, I never really appreciated until now, just how much I must have hurt you, I mean, you were really slow and gentle, and thoughtful with me, and even then it hurt...”
Taguchi smiled “We didn’t know what we were doing back then, you’ve been much gentler with me ever since.”
“Does it...will it always hurt that much, like every time?” Ueda asked shyly.
“To me it doesn’t feel so bad anymore. I think maybe it’s just that you get used to it, like you know what to expect so you can relax easier knowing it’ll be better soon”
Ueda nodded and looked into Taguchi’s eyes, he hadn’t really stopped to think about it before, but Taguchi had willingly gone through quite a bit of pain for him, on several occasions. And not just that, he noted looking around, noticing the pots were gone from the kotatsu, he did other stuff too, cooked and cleaned up after him, walked his dogs, fetched him painkillers and takeaway at short notice, made him feel better about himself, made him smile and laugh, stood by him through his mood swings and was always there if he needed to talk about his feelings. He felt a rush of gratitude, and leaned over, pulling the younger man into a tight embrace.
“Thank you” he said, the simple words loaded with emotion, “I care about you a lot.”
Chapter 13
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Yay, that morning after talk >_< I'm sorry for angsty Ueda at the beginning there but it seemed a bit ooc for him in this story to just accept it straight away...I hope the fluffy bits made up for it? :D
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no subject
Date: 2012-05-23 02:48 pm (UTC)IKR? I did think about cutting out the angsty bit cos he was bit annoying there >_< But then I figured that's just how his character is :)
I do really like the way Taguchi is turning out (though I swear the characters write themselves more than I write them) he's very sweet and understanding about it all, and I totally get what you mean about other people's reactions...and especially with it being a bit of a sensitive topic for Ueda :D
I love this: 'And... I swear he's falling in love. Am I wrong? I really don't think I'm wrong. I think he's falling in love and he's going to be in denial about it for the longest time.' :D:D:D:D:D You may just be right :P
Thank you for reading :D And for the comment too *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 12:58 pm (UTC)I'm super happy, Ueda got over his lil moment there but his initial reaction is understandable...
And they are so domesticated... cute~
OMG, this had me gasped then smiled thinking, darn! they almost said it! (maybe)
"“I don’t want to hurt you. I...You’re my friend, I care about you.”"
That pause after the 'I' *screams*
no subject
Date: 2012-05-23 02:51 pm (UTC)Hehe, I'm so happy you're liking the story :D They're getting to be quite the couple now right?! Thank you for your comment dear!!
no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 01:42 pm (UTC)*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 01:00 pm (UTC)cant wait for more
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Date: 2012-05-23 02:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 01:37 pm (UTC)I'm confess that I don't really read through smut that closely (sorry!), but I'm really liking the entire story line (including the previous tension with Kame and how it was resolved eventually)! They started out as friends with benefits, but it looks like both of them are beginning to develop solid feelings for one another. I liked all the pillow / morning talks throughout the chapters; it somehow gives me the impression that they really care for one another, yet refuse to admit or believe that are are falling for the other party. I wonder if it is because they are both afraid of the reaction they might get from their partner if one of them did confess >w<
Junno has been really sweet and aware of Tatsuya's feelings all this while, and his little gestures just speaks volume ♥ *squeals* All the times he had to wrestle with Tatsuya's dogs when he doesn't even own a pet. Aww..
Oh, and I must say that I especially liked the chapter when they went out to the beach together; it was such an innocent and adorable date~ In fact, I loved all the fluff scenes (hence, I loved this entire chapter to bits despite the slight angst at the start)!
I'm sorry for the long comment; I've accumulated them through so many chapters because I didn't want to spam your inbox ;A;
Looking forward to the next update! ﾍ(ﾟ∀ﾟﾍ)♥
no subject
Date: 2012-05-23 02:58 pm (UTC)I'm really happy you've been enjoying the story and how their relationship is developing, I agree they must have deeper feelings than they're letting on!
Ah, I'm glad you're liking all the dog interactions too :D For some reason the image of Junno struggling with them all for Uepi's sake makes me feel all warm and fuzzy :D
Thank you for the comment and for continuing reading *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 02:07 pm (UTC)And it's so sweet of Junno to leave the notes and take care of Ueda with the breakfast and cleaning up as well as taking care of Ueda's dogs.. Junno's a great boyfriend material. *sighs happily*
Though, I wonder how long it will be till they realize that they're slowly falling in love.
Anyways, thanks for the update!
no subject
Date: 2012-05-23 02:59 pm (UTC)Junno is really sweet right? He would make the perfect boyfriend :D Now we just need Ueda to realise that too!!!
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Date: 2012-05-22 03:02 pm (UTC)The fact that Ueda apologized for hurting Junno was very sweet, just like the notes Junno left for him and that he took care of the dogs.
They are already behaving like a couple! XD
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Date: 2012-05-23 03:03 pm (UTC)I'm glad you thought the angst was fitting, it did feel to weird to just have him be all like...not affected by it.
I think they're both realising that they've already started caring for each other but they're maybe just a little scared to admit it because they're scared of the consequences!
no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 03:23 pm (UTC)And Junno is such a sweety the next morning despite that! *w* Really, thank goodness Ueda's realised all that Junno's done for him lately hehe I wonder how the rest of his feelings will develop after this.
Really really loved this chapter! The fluff was just so sweet (i love Junno's little notes >w<) Hope to see the next one soon! =3
no subject
Date: 2012-05-23 03:10 pm (UTC)I'm happy you liked all the fluff too, and Ueda did seem to have something of an epiphany regarding his own feelings :D
Next chapter will be up on Saturday (unless something terrible or drastic happens between now and then).
no subject
Date: 2013-03-11 06:30 am (UTC)I really really really love this chapter. I love how you don't write how ueda didn't easily accept, or more like he stubbornly didn't want to accept his bottoming. It makes him more "ueda" and in the end, heart would never lie. He's gradually accept it, and thinking about how he had treated Junno in the past, which makes Ueda appreciate him more.
It's so....... you brought 'sexy' in another whole new level to me, srsly.