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thesecretdoorPairing: JunDa
Rating: PG-13 (slight swearing)
Word Count: 1674
Disclaimer: All people mentioned belong only to themselves...aside from JunDa who clearly belong to each other.
Summary: In the fairy tales they fall in love and live happily ever after...but this isn't a fairy tale. How are two people, madly in love, supposed to stay away from each other?
February 15th 2013
He rolled over, his half-sleeping body seeking out the warmth he remembered being there the night before. It had to have been pretty early when his once lover tucked him gently into bed, and only a little later than that when his tears finally stopped and he drifted, almost peacefully, into one of the best night’s sleep he’d had in such a long time.
He’d woken only once in the night, sitting bolt upright in confusion at the situation, but Taguchi, by his side, had lain him back down, kissing him gently and wrapping those strong, safe arms around him, nuzzling into the back of his neck until sleep found him again.
Now the sun was almost fully up in the sky, he must have slept for a long time, but he wanted to stay sleeping just a little longer, to stay shielded from the harshness of reality. He stretched out an arm, searching for Taguchi but he found nothing.
His eyes shot open, but realising he was alone in his bed, he felt suddenly cold. He took a few deep breaths, but then remembered that Taguchi often woke before him. Feeling mildly relieved he pushed himself up, wincing at the pain in his rear as he dragged himself to his feet, he knew from experience with Taguchi that spit was hardly ideal as a lubricant, but he’d been so desperate the previous night that he hadn’t cared.
He pulled on some sweatpants and made his way through to the kitchen, listening out for sounds of Taguchi, but he could hear none. There was no smell of rice cooking as he’d been expecting, no sounds of running water from the bathroom as he passed it, no sign at all of the other man.
“Junno?” he almost whispered, the quiet unnerving him, but the only response he received was a small whine and the padding of numerous doggy paws. He stroked a dog’s head while passing, but he was focusing only on his apartment, and any sign from it that Taguchi was there, or even had been there.
He searched through each room, but there was nothing, no shoes in the genkan, no clothes left sprawled across the music room floor, or his bedroom, no sign of the shower being used, not even a note. He let out a defeated puff of air and then went about feeding the dogs before wandering slowly back along the hall to his bedroom, climbing back under the covers and pulling them above his head.
As the covers wafted, the air carried with them a slight hint of Taguchi’s scent, and peeking back out of the covers he noticed the other pillow, where Taguchi’s head had rested through the night. Without thinking he pulled it to him, wrapping his arms around it and burying his face into it to inhale as much as he could of Taguchi.
He couldn’t tell if he’d fallen asleep, or just into some kind of daze, but some time later he was roused by the sound of his dogs barking, and as he listened closer, a light musical tinkling. With great effort he pushed himself out of bed and along the hallway, recognising the sound now as his phone ringing. He looked at the display, Kame, and after taking a deep breath he answered it, voice flatter than he’d meant it.
“Where the fuck are you? We have interviews today!” came Kame’s shrill voice.
He knew he must have known about them, but his mind was too foggy to even try and think about it. “I’m sorry Kame...I guess, maybe my alarm didn’t go off or something...”
“Well hurry up and get here! I’ve been trying to call you for 20 minutes! I’ll mail you the address, just get here as soon as you can ok?”
He nodded, but realising Kame wouldn’t be able to see he cleared his throat “Yeah, sorry. I’ll be there.”
He showered as quickly as he could with his mind still half a world away, and then threw on some clothes and a hat before shutting the dogs away and setting off to the venue.
As soon as he arrived he found his way too their dressing room where Koki and Maru were sitting looking over some lyrics Koki was working on.
“What happened? You look like shit...” Maru blurted out insensitively as he put down his bag.
“Up all night with a certain co-star were we?” chuckled Koki.
“Fuck you” Ueda snapped back, he knew what that interview must have looked like, and he expected this from the journalists but not his own friends, they must know he couldn’t possibly have accepted her.
“You’re here” Kame sighed, sounding relieved as he walked into the room.
“Kame, I’m sorry” and suddenly he turned his attention back on the others too, they must have felt a bit put out too “Guys, I’m sorry, I fucked up...”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it now” Kame assured him, “But they want you in make up as soon as possible...they switched some stuff round so that we could still get some stuff done before you got here. I’ve already done my solo stuff, they’re doing Taguchi’s now but we need to do the group stuff next or I won’t be able to leave on time...you’d better check what’s going on with you too, I thought you had drama filming today.”
“Shit” he’d forgotten about that too, “yeah, I’ll call my manager while I’m in make up, thanks” and he hurried off to get ready.
Thankfully, with the schedule shuffled round he would still make it to his filming on time, provided he did his solo parts after the group. He finished in make up and went along to the set, but he saw Taguchi waiting along one of the corridors, looking down guiltily when he saw Ueda coming.
Something snapped and he slammed Taguchi hard into the wall by his shoulder as he reached him. His anger bubbling, everything building up, the disappointment of waking up alone, the confusion and hurt of finding no trace of Taguchi’s presence in his apartment, Taguchi’s thoughtlessness at just leaving and not bothering to make sure he would wake up for work.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” he practically hissed, but when Taguchi made no response but to swallow hard, face crumpled with guilt and concern, he let him go, walking away from him and onto the set.
He managed to cope through the group pictures and interview, pretending to be happy and unaffected, professional, but he deflated with a sigh once they announced it was done. He had ten minutes to wait while they altered the set and lighting for his solo shots, and he was surprised when Kame gripped onto his arm, leading him away from the dressing room and into a smaller, unoccupied room.
“What’s going on with you?” Kame asked, mildly annoyed, but with more concern than anything in his voice “This isn’t like you Tacchan, but there was New Year, then this...it’s almost like you don’t care about work anymore...”
He felt terrible. “I’m so sorry Kame...last night was...I had a bit of a rough day yesterday and I was so tired, and I left my phone in the other room and I just...it won’t happen again...I swear Kame, I’m so sorry...”
“Was it because of Valentine’s Day? I know things are still a bit weird between you and Taguchi...and I saw that interview you did...”
“She confessed to me, after it...but I didn’t know how to respond...I didn’t even realise she’s been flirting with me this whole time...and it was a shock and I wasn’t ready for it...”
“I can understand that...” Kame admitted, but then he glanced at his watch standing up to leave, “I’m sorry, I really do need to get going...but just...” he sighed and sat back down again, taking Ueda’s hand loosely in his own. “I can see that you’re in a state, so I can only imagine how bad it is up there in your head...but, you’ve got to move on. You stopped what you had with Taguchi so that you wouldn’t end up hurting the band...but if you don’t pull yourself together you’re going to do it anyway...I’m sorry, I know that’s a harsh thing to say, but I’m just worried you know?”
He nodded, it wasn’t the first time he’d received one of these lectures, but Kame was right, just as Taguchi had been, he was hurting the group worse this way, he had to sort himself out. “Thanks Kame...I will, I’ll get on top of this ok?” he forced a smile though inside he felt like crying “I’m sorry for worrying you...”
Kame nodded, letting go of his hand and standing to leave again. “Hey Tacchan, we’ll get together sometime ok, hang out, we can talk if you want to...we’re a group right? So we’ll be behind you on this.” And he pumped his fist in the air in a sign of victory that made Ueda feel a little warm inside. He nodded, smiling, as Kame left, and then got up to leave himself, going for a drink before his solo work.
He checked his phone out of habit when he reached his bag, a new mail, from Taguchi. He glanced around before opening it, but the man in question was nowhere to be found. He opened the mail hesitantly. ‘How could I have woken you?’ And as he scrolled down he saw there was a picture attached. It was a picture of himself, clearly taken earlier that morning on Taguchi’s cell phone. He was curled facing towards Taguchi, the other man’s hand clasped preciously in his own and the softest smile resting on his sleeping face. There was no sign of worry or hurt on his face, just peace and happiness, his features smooth and relaxed like he hadn’t seen them in so long, and he smiled, understanding at least, he couldn’t have woken Taguchi from that either.
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I want to leave a comment here...but I need to get to work >_<
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Date: 2012-08-14 11:08 am (UTC)but lovin it hehe
thanks for the update
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Date: 2012-08-14 07:47 pm (UTC)I'm really happy you liked it!!
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Date: 2012-08-14 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-14 07:48 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading :D
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Date: 2012-08-14 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-14 07:53 pm (UTC)I'm really happy you picked up on the way Ueda has changed, at the start he was the one that was uncomfortable with them sleeping in the same bed, but now he's the one that asked Junno to stay and gets all upset when he wakes up alone. He really fell hard :(
It made me happy to see you want to keep reading too :D Hopefully the next part won't have quite so much angst >_<
And of course I'm still flattered that you find my writing inspiring! ♥
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Date: 2012-08-14 03:56 pm (UTC)...*gulp* and the talk Kame had with him...about moving on. GDI don't let that stupid co-star of his...I mean...I hope that was the only mention of her and she never comes back >.<
>.< be sure to warn me about the next chapter if there's something i don't like okay?? >.< *will still probably read it anyway* Thanks for the update! *hugs*
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Date: 2012-08-14 08:01 pm (UTC)Hehe, don't worry that co-star got hit by a car or something on the way home from filming one day...she won't be back :P
The next chapter should be ok :) But I think you may dislike me just a little in the one after it >_<
Thank you for reading even though I know it distresses you a little to see them in this state!! *hugs*
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Date: 2012-08-14 04:38 pm (UTC)I love the beginning of this chapter where Tatchan searches for Junno and just goes back to bed when he doesn't find him! And Junno's mail in the end is too cute!
I hope Tatchan won't do something stupid to get over Junno, like, accepting his co-star...
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Date: 2012-08-14 08:03 pm (UTC)That really would be stupid :( but you don't need to worry too much, I think part of him doesn't even want to try and get over Junno :(
Thank you for reading ♥
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Date: 2012-08-14 05:22 pm (UTC)I'm glad Taguchi didn't just wake up and run away but was actually considerate of Tatchan's well-being... but maybe still he could have set his alarm for him.
Personally, I always tell myself I never wanna fall in love with anyone this much, where you lose yourself, lose focus, in pain, crying, feeling pathetic. I would always want my love to be painless as possible... very simple as can be. because otherwise, or rather anything more would be depressing... simply put, I would selfishly give up EVERYthing to make it go away, ANYthing to make me happy or not crying again... I guess I'm dangerous.
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Date: 2012-08-14 08:12 pm (UTC)It really would have been a lot better for them all if Taguchi had set the alarm...I think he just freaked out a little and it must have slipped his mind >_<
Love is a tricky thing right? When it's good it can be really good...but when things go bad it can be the worst feeling in the world, far worse than physical pain and much harder to heal too.
I think your outlook on love is good though, it's important not to lose yourself completely, and of course it's also important to think of your own feelings, too often people do stupid things for love, or suffer through horrible experiences for the sake of love. But when it comes down to it, no matter who walks in or out of your life, you will always have yourself, so it's best to worry about keeping yourself happy first.
Lol...ok I digressed and ended up sounding like a strange mix between a drunk and a fortune cookie >_< sorry about that!
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Date: 2012-08-15 09:39 pm (UTC)lol well our thoughts are so similar I think we both, might be both... but important of all, I consider us as Realists :-)
but all it all, this is one of my favourite interviews.... it's from Junno and his view on romantic love:
http://kissmegreen.livejournal.com/100661.html#cutid1
I agree with him 100%
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Date: 2012-08-15 10:05 pm (UTC)And oh my...that interview *__*
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Date: 2012-08-15 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-15 10:43 am (UTC)Thank you for reading :) I'm glad you liked it!!
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Date: 2012-08-15 03:35 pm (UTC)Initially, I thought Taguchi abandoned Tat-chan and ran off somewhere to break away from this relationship. I'm glad it wasn't the case :')
The ending is really sweet but I just can't imagine the next wave of angst sweeping in after such a night.
Thank you for sharing T________________________T
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Date: 2012-08-15 09:46 pm (UTC)That was a pretty jerky thing of Taguchi to do, but he did have his reasons, and he's not such a bad guy after all.
There's a little angst to come and then just one or two more big waves >_<
Thank you for reading!!