[multichapter] baby blue part 3 chapter 16

[thesecretdoor]

Title: Baby Blue: Part 3: Chapter 16
Pairing: JunDa
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1679
Disclaimer: All people mentioned belong only to themselves...aside from JunDa who clearly belong to each other.
Summary: In the fairy tales they fall in love and live happily ever after...but this isn't a fairy tale. How are two people, madly in love, supposed to stay away from each other?

31^st May 2013

He couldn't believe it had already been a month, nothing had changed though, except that he needed Mayuko more now. He didn't care for her any more than he did, in all honesty he thought he cared less, he no longer even saw her as a friend, she was just somebody he could relieve the tension with. He'd never love her.

And yet there he was again, laying naked in her bed, fresh from a shower and waiting for her to finish showering too so that they can finally get it over with.

He hadn't even noticed he'd been playing with his ring, but as he looked down, there it was in his hand, his fingers running over the symbols on the front of it.

The heart for love. He still loved Ueda more than he could ever express, but he didn't even know if the other man knew. He'd been too cold, but it was the only way he could stop himself from giving in, from giving up everything he had just to see Ueda smile.

The hands for friendship. Did they even have that? Could you call someone a friend if you didn't speak to them unless it was necessary? If you didn't even let yourself acknowledge them?

The crown for loyalty. His stomach gave a sudden lurch, was he being disloyal? Did Ueda consider his relationship with Mayuko to be a betrayal of their love? He was aware that this relationship couldn't be easy on Ueda, but did he feel like he'd been rejected? Replaced?

He jumped a little as the door opened and Mayuko entered the room. “I'm sorry to keep you waiting” she said almost coyly as she slipped the towel from her body and climbed into the bed beside him.

He shook his head, placing the ring back on his finger “No, it's ok.” He forced a smile but his eyes strayed back to the ring, his thoughts focused only on Ueda.

“Did your ex give you that?” Mayuko asked suddenly, commanding his attention again, and when he turned to her she was looking at his ring too.

“Yeah...” he answered lamely.

“Why do you still wear it?” she asked next, her voice displaying nothing but curiosity.

“Because no matter what...” he answered cryptically “I want to be reminded of where I belong...”

There was a sad smile playing on Mayuko's lips “But you broke up with her...” Taguchi just nodded solemnly “Isn't there any chance at all for you to be together?”

He shook his head “If they found out...they'd never let us...”

Mayuko's face twisted a little in confusion “But if you went about it the right way? If you both went to Johnny together and explained everything, maybe he'd let you get married or something...there are other Johnny's who've got married...”

He shook his head again a little faster “It's not that easy...for the two of us...well if anyone found out there would be a scandal...and...it could get messy...”

“But then if the two of you have no chance...why are you torturing yourself like this? Why don't you at least try to move on...take off the ring...avoid seeing her...”

He cut in “We work together so...not seeing each other isn't an option...”

“Is she like management or something? Isn't she replaceable?” she pushed.

“Definitely not replaceable.” he replied, head hanging a little.

“Then if there's really, absolutely no chance for the two of you...then maybe it's time to start moving on?” and she leaned towards him, taking his hands slowly in hers and sliding the ring from his finger.

He watched as she slid it all the way off, placing it on the table beside her bed before turning her attention to him, gripping his chin and turning his head enough to reach his lips with her own. “But...” he started, only to have his words cut off by Mayuko's tongue pressing past his lips and swirling against his own.

“Let me help you move on” she whispered against his mouth, and then she swung her leg over his, shuffling down his body until she was laying flush against him.

It didn't feel right, the kiss not hard enough, not enough passion in it, just soft tongues swirling together and no teeth, no heat. Her body too, it wasn't right, her skin was as soft as Ueda's but she lacked the strength, the powerful muscles as Taguchi slid his hands down her sides.

He moved quickly past her hips, avoiding her ass, not wanting to feel what he craved the most when he knew it wasn't right, not the right person, so he continued down, searching for something familiar.

He'd never imagined that something as inconsequential as leg hair would bother him, he'd never spent much thought on the differences between Ueda's body and a woman's, but feeling the smooth expanse of Mayuko's legs made him realise just how much he missed the roughness of Ueda's.

“Are you ok?” Mayuko asked gently, pulling back enough to look into his face, and it was only then that he realised how ragged and desperate his breathing sounded.

“I...I don't...” he mumbled, trying to find the right way to tell her that he needed something different, someone different.

“Ssshh” she whispered, placing gentle pecks against his mouth “Just relax, stop thinking and just feel...”

He let out a long breath, calming himself, and then opened his mouth to her kisses, it was still wrong, but he couldn't have Ueda, and he needed something.

Mayuko started slowly rocking her body against his, her legs either side of him pushing her up a little, rocking harder until he could feel the moisture between her legs against his cock.

He knew what she was trying to do, but he wasn't hard enough, not yet and he slid his fingers there instead to distract her as he tried to arouse himself.

A year ago he would have loved it, the slick feeling under his fingers, the evidence of how much she wanted him, but now it wasn't what he was used to, and as he pushed his fingers inside of her he felt a little sick.

Her body accepted him far too easily, he missed the resistance, the feeling of his fingers working to stretch tight muscle, the velvety soft walls pressing back against him, constricting against his fingers.

Thankfully, however much he disliked his actions, Mayuko seemed to be enjoying it, leaning her head down close to his ear and moaning softly, whimpering and almost pleading. The voice was all wrong, but the noises were good enough, and he clung to the sound as he thought of more arousing images, Ueda splayed out beneath him, whimpering, begging to be penetrated, his face contorted with pleasure while his eyes were alight with desire.

Taguchi could feel himself hardening, and he rocked up against the body above him, the visions behind his clenched eyes almost fooling him into believing that it was the body he desired, the firm muscles tensing and flexing with his movements.

When he could feel he was hard enough he wasted no time in rolling Mayuko off of him, turning her onto her stomach and, a little rougher than necessary, pulling her hips up until her knees took her weight.

He hadn't taken her like this before, but if she had any protest she wasn't voicing it, and with the images running around inside his head being of someone else, he didn't want to risk her looking at his face. Like that it was easy to pretend anyway, to pretend it wasn't her, not having to see her face, the wrong face looking back at him.

Usually he tried with everything he had not to think of Ueda, but at that moment in time, he wanted the other man so desperately, to feel the safety of his embrace, that he allowed himself to be weak. Just for that one night, and then he would put the ring away and try to move on.

She let out a high-pitched moan as he pushed into her, pretending that it was tighter, that there was more resistance, that it was Ueda chanting his name.

He closed his eyes tighter, thrusting his hips harder as he conjured up memories, real ones that he hadn't allowed himself to think of in so long, memories of waterfalls, of Ueda's face, his eyes drinking in Taguchi's, the emotion inside them.

He thought of sunsets, Ueda's submission, the feelings as they moved together perfectly, slowly, knowing. Knowing it was more than sex, more than being together, feeling it deep inside, so strong it broke them apart.

Ueda's face as they made love, his gentle touches as he slid inside, all lips and feathery fingertips, words whispering across his skin in broken pleas. His own silent sobs as he tried desperately to tell Ueda what the other already knew. He could hear his own shaky voice “I love you Tatsuya” and then the image behind his eyelids burst into white, his orgasm surprising him, rocking his body erratically, until his eyes slid open and he remembered where he was.

He was panting hard, sweat dripping from his hair and his muscles aching from the physical movements he could barely remember.

When he slipped from Mayuko's body she turned to face him, her eyes wide with surprise, but he couldn't bear to hear what it was that had surprised her and so he jumped from the bed and rushed into the bathroom to shower.

When he returned she was laying in bed, her face still flushed but sated, his ring turning delicately between her fingers.

“Would you like me to order some food?” She asked lightly, any trace of surprise or ill-will gone from her voice, and with a smile she sat up and handed the ring to him “It's really pretty.”

He took the ring from her and held onto it tightly as he gathered his clothes, throwing them on haphazardly. “I'd better go, we leave for Hiroshima early tomorrow.”

Chapter 15 | Chapter 17

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Firstly, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to tat_fan_luv I hope you have a lovely birthday!!

And secondly...I'm sorry - I can't help feeling like this chapter was much better when I'd written it before, the re-written version doesn't feel like it has enough emotion in it, or enough of Junno's inner feelings...or something :S But I've already tried re-writing it again and I just can't seem to better it, so I hope it's ok >_<

Comments

SPOT

[kissmegreen.livejournal.com]

Read when I get home.

But really, I am seeing nc17 but based on the last chapter I'm almost sure it won't involve junno and tatsuya, together hmmmmmmmm

Re: SPOT

[kissmegreen.livejournal.com]

hmm back!

first thing - Junno use a condom for heavens sake! that got me really worried what other catastrophe could happen. and I'm NOT giving you any angsty ideas writer-san *glaring at you*

second thing - I like how you made everything remind Junno of Tatsuya. At least it's confirmed that he's in equal pain too.

third thing - I honestly had nothing against this girl in the previous chapters but she annoyed the hell out of me here with her nosy and pushy self and taking off that ring! but at least it's back where it belongs, on Junno's finger!

forth thing - even though I'm still vexed with Junno for what happened last chappie, I've got to still love him for this:

“Why do you still wear it?” ... "Because no matter what... I want to be reminded of where I belong...”

and then this:

Isn't she replaceable?” she pushed.

“Definitely not replaceable.” ^-^

And I'm looking forward to Hiroshima... something is bound to happen there... or at least I'm hoping.

Re: SPOT

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

Hey you ♥

Hehe, Junno really should be more careful right? Or some day it's going to come back and bite him in the ass ;)

He definitely is in equal pain too :) I'm not sure if it's coming across well enough, but the point I'm trying to make in these few chapters is that he's not trying to be mean to or hurt anyone...he's just in pain and getting desperate :(

Lol, it's really interesting that people didn't mind Mayuko until this chapter >_< for me it was the other way round, I didn't like her much but then I didn't want to make her into a bad guy since she's a real actress and as far as I know hasn't done anything to deserve me making a cruel character of her :( so I tried to make her a little more understanding but at the same time realistic...lol, it seems like she got just a little bit too big for her boots >_<

:D Thank you for your lovely comment dear *hugs*

Re: SPOT

[kissmegreen.livejournal.com]

to be honest... I'm not even interested in this girl in RL.. and can't even put a face to her... is she the one from Legal High or from one of Junno' earlier dramas... I'm really bad with names and faces unless i see them all the time >.<

but I definitely did get you... I felt Junno's pain very much... and I'm glad they are suffering together ^^

Re: SPOT

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

She was in Ganbatte Ikimasshoi with him, and she was in Hana Kimi aswell, she seems to play the kind of stuck up, vain, queen bee character a lot I think. It's not that important really that you know who she is, I just wanted to pick someone I knew he'd worked with before and that was pretty enough for him >_<

Hopefully I'll get the next chapter up later today :) now I've finally gotten in written!!

[racanai.livejournal.com]

Yay, update! I hadn't in mind that you use to update on Tuesdays, so it was a very pleasent surprise to find a new chapter! ^^

I can't help but feel a little pity for Mayuko. Knowing that your boyfriend still loves someone else surely must be aweful. :/
But I L*O*V*E Junno's thoughts during the sex! How much he loves Tatchan is so damn cute!
And they're still on tour, maybe something is going to happen? ^^

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I could deliver a nice surprise for you!!

I'm also really happy that you feel sorry for Mayuko too, she seems to be a pretty sweet girl, so I didn't want to make her totally a bad guy. I agree it must be a very lonely relationship they have, her knowing that he's in love with someone else, and still just wanting what's best for him.

But this is a JunDa fic...so even if Junno is with someone else...Uepi's gotta be there in his mind. Indeed they are still on tour...and things will get interesting before the tour is over...but that's all I'll say for now :)

[yaoi-mazter.livejournal.com]

ughhhh...het-sex...my poor, poor eyes...hahaha

hmmm, junno...junno...you're fighting a losing battle^_^
Stop using the poor girl and resolve your problem without any emotional/physical crutch...grrrrrr!

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry >_< I was thinking of putting a warning about that (but then it would be a bit of a spoiler) but I figured since there wasn't much detail about the het bit so it might not be so bad >_<

Lol, and Junno really should listen to your advice!

Thank you for commenting :D

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

He really is messing things up and messing people around right?

I promise things will start to resolve within the next few chapters, if I stick to my plan there's only around 8 chapters left of this part so things will have to get a move on soon!

Thank you for reading!

[tat-fan-luv.livejournal.com]

yatta thank you so much for the dedication...i knew it i knew she was going to figure it out in someway or another. junno was (i hate saying the word but) using mayuko to help him try to forget uepi...those two...junda...it's either them or bust in my opinion...next chapter hmmm no predictions as of yet.... (thinks)...either tat-chan is going to as i said before fight fire with fire or mayuko will either a)blackmail junda for whatever reason or b)try to get them back togther. and those are my predictions for chapter 17 which i'm already anxious for!

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

That's ok :) Did you have a good birthday?

Hehe, your predictions are pretty interesting :) Honestly, I haven't even finished writing it yet >_< but I already know what will happen, it's just finding the words!

Thank you for commenting!

[pandanyan.livejournal.com]

SPOT~!

You know...usually I get excited when I see the NC-17 rating for the chapter. But now I'm not....*gulp* >_<

[pandanyan.livejournal.com]

Gaaah totally mixed feelings about this chapter >_< First off, just when I thought I'd be okay with Mayuko...thinking that she knew her place and that she's just someone to relieve Junno or something and that she'll never ever get the chance to replace the one in Junno's heart....AND THEN SHE TAKES THE F*ING RING FROM HIM!! Yup, I'm returning to hating her again =.=# Well...okay actually she gave the ring back but for her to bring it up and being so nosy and reminding Junno to stop wearing it I just want to throw her in front of a moving train now.

It's funny though, I always wondered about the rings and if you'd ever bring it up. Actually by this point I assumed Junno stopped wearing it >_< Also, sorry I really had to breeze through reading the smut parts, I hope this is normal but i can't really stand het smut for some reason...ESPECIALLY if it's comparing some bitch's body to Ueda's >.< But then again I understand Junno's feelings...but at the same time I don't...really if he really wanted Ueda he should go to him. Not pretend because it'll never ever be the same x_x

But also, I'm happy that he still loves him somehow...but I'm just so pissed on how he can even question if he's been disloyal to Ueda...JUNNO HOW KY CAN YOU GET!? T.T Gah I'm getting more and more frustrated with him now, when's Kame going to step in? >.< He'll rescue the day won't he?? Or Maru..or Koki...Or Taguchi-mama...SOMEONE! >.<

Also, the part of my dream I feel it's more likely...or unlikely to happen lol IDK but I really hope it doesn't happen.

I'm curious on the next chapter though! I want more interactions with JunDa just to see how they deal with it. >.< But yeah I'll be waiting for their happy ending patiently T.T

Lol sorry for the emotional comment again x_x thank goodness my CD arrived today so I can watch fluffy JunDa to get my mind of this. Anyway thanks for the update~ *huggles*

PS: Just curious, are you planning on writing anything for Uepi's bday?? *w*

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

Awww, Pan-chan...I didn't mean to upset you so much *hides from Pan-chan's wrath*

I have been kind of skipping over a lot of details...things with the rings and stuff...but I'm just too eager to get to the real juice of this part...and there's a particular time I wanted that to happen at...so I was kind of rushing ahead to get to it >_<

I really aren't a fan of het-smut either...when I first tried writing this chapter ageeees ago, I wanted to try doing a proper het-smut chapter, just for the challenge of it (and to be honest I thought it would be easier than writing gay sex since I don't actually have any real life experience of boyxboy sex being that I'm female) but it was impossible...and kinda weirdly gross writing about it :S Hence the note in the philippines fund-raising things that I can't write het-smut >_< So it's not really all that smutty, but I can understand you wanting to skim over that part :)

Hehe, don't worry - someone will step in...and it won't be too far away now, just hang in there for a few more chapters, ok? :)

I was planning on writing something for his birthday, but I've been working quite a few extra hours this week so I haven't gotten anything written yet...and I won't get chance to write anything until probably Saturday...so yeah, if I get anything written it will be mega-late >_< will you be writing something?

[pandanyan.livejournal.com]

"and there's a particular time I wanted that to happen at...so I was kind of rushing ahead to get to it >_<"

Ooh now I have to start paying attention to the dates x_x I never do though but lol this makes me so curious >w< Ah...also when you say 'the real juice of this part'...that scares me...a lot >.< JUNDAAAA T.T

Lol i knew it! Actually one of my high school friends came up with this explanation on why girls who like BL can't stand het smut and prefer boyxboy smut, it's more like we're too grossed out thinking about another girl doing smexy stuff or the things we're supposed to be doing during sex and it's more preferable having two guys since it's twice the fun =/ back then I didn't really understand that but now I think I get it >_<;;

T.T Yeah real life is hectic right? I'm juggling between doing fanart and a fic PLUS a dedication post for him since today was my day off from classes but RL things just got in the way @.@ definitely writing some JunDa fluff though~! :3

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

Yeah...there's something big coming, it's not so much the dates as the progress with the tour that I wanted it to happen...but yeah, we'll be there very soon!

It's an interesting idea your friend had...I definitely agree that twice the guys is twice the fun :D but about the other bit...I don't think it's so much not liking imagining girls having sex...I think for me it's maybe to do with the amount of detail paid to particular parts...if it's vague then it's fine, but anything more than the amount of detail I went into up there would be too much.

I didn't get anything written for Ueda's birthday yet...I didn't even get anything else done >_< I've been working hard on Baby Blue this morning though so at least I'll have another chapter to post today!!

[riseyuuko.livejournal.com]

Junno should stop seeing Mayuko before something bad happens (not seeing Mayuko as Mayuko and seeing Mayuko as Tatsuya -> which is cruel) ... though he is still broken with the breakup :(

I have a gut feeling that something will really happen to Hiroshima

Thank you for sharing :)

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

He needs to get himself sorted out and stopping dragging other people into it and messing them around right?

Something big is coming...it will be a little later than Hiroshima, but it won't be far off :D

Thank you for reading and commenting!!

[nikkimattei.livejournal.com]

OOOOO!! *palms face* Junno said Tatsuya's name while having sex with someone else!! Now his secret is out. Man o man. waiting for the next update!!

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

He was thinking it in his head, but did he accidentally let something slip? >_< let's just hope whatever happened he can keep it together :D

Thank you for reading!!

[sugiex.livejournal.com]

I really feel like beating Junno silly. What a douche! D: He might think he is moving on but his indecisiveness just makes him seem like a fickle bastard who is using Mayuko for sex only =_=" Granted that she consented, but...

/need to restrain self for being all mad @ Junno; sorry for the harsh words @__@

I really don't see how they can mend their wrecked relationship T__T Thank you for the update!

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

He is acting like a jerk right? He's not trying to hurt anyone...but he really should stop and think about how his actions are affecting others :(

Don't apologise - it makes me happy that my simple story invoked such a strong reaction from you :D

Thank you for reading and commenting!!

[lisa loftsd�ttir (from livejournal.com)]

Uhh i can feel something big is gonna happen
thanks for the update =)

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

You might be right ;)

Thank you for reading and commenting!!

[despygurl.livejournal.com]

i feel bad for myself for not reading this chap throughly, i just read here and there whenever 'tatsuya' is written.
i guess at least junno did it while he remember about uepi, that makes me a bit better.
i'm sorry, my heart just couldn't take it...