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thesecretdoorPairing: JunDa
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1137
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and only the words are mine.
Summary: All they wanted was each other, just to be together the way they once were. But now that they have it, is that still enough?
8th November 2013
He'd wanted everything to be perfect, after the promise he'd made, he hadn't had chance to see Taguchi once outside of work all week, but they had the whole weekend free of solo activities, so aside from a few meetings and a show recording, they had the weekend to themselves, and Ueda was determined to set things straight before then.
Unfortunately, his day hadn't been so free that day, the recording he'd had ran over so he didn't have time to set up the romantic dinner he'd planned. After he'd showered and dressed, he didn't even have time to dish the takeout he'd ordered onto plates before Taguchi arrived.
“For the record...I had something much grander planned” Ueda insisted as he pushed the carton of food into Taguchi's hand, the wooden chopsticks sticking unceremoniously from the top.
Taguchi just laughed “It's fine, I prefer the homely kind of date, dog hair carpets and all.”
Ueda raised an unimpressed eyebrow “Well I was going to vacuum too, but yeah...”
“Uepi it's fine, really” Taguchi smiled, leaning in to place a kiss on Ueda's forehead, before making himself at home in front of the TV.
They watched whatever drama was on as they ate, but once they were finished, Taguchi switched off the TV and turned his attention to Ueda, looking at him expectantly.
“I've been thinking a lot over the last few days.” Ueda started. “About all we've been through, and how much we've fought for what we have now, and how perfect things are the way they are.”
“But...” Taguchi interrupted impatiently.
“And I won't 'marry' you.” Ueda finished.
“Then it's not open to discussion?”
“No.” Ueda said with a shake of his head.
“Then you're being as selfish as you accused me of being...I don't see why it's OK for you to make this decision without us at least discussing it, but if I try and be romantic then I'm being selfish...”
“I shouldn't have said that to you before, and I appreciate that you want to do something romantic...but I don't think that marriage is what we should be thinking about...”
“Why not.” Taguchi argued.
“Because...it won't mean anything.”
“Uepi” Taguchi frowned “You keep saying that but if it's important to us then doesn't that mean enough?”
“Junno.” he sighed. “We knew when we started this that there would be certain things that we would have to give up right? For legal and physical reasons...we knew that, and we accepted that right? It just feels to me as though, trying to duck under the law, or find loopholes or whatever...it feels like we're cheapening that...even if we're talking about marriage, it still seems like cheapening that commitment.”
“That's not how it feels to me...I think that it doesn't matter who witnesses it, or where it is, what matters is the words we say, and the bond that we understand we're making with each other...”
“If the who and where doesn't matter then why not just do it right now...why do we need the ceremony and the piece of paper...”
“Because it would be official...”
“It wouldn't be official Junno!” he retorted, his exasperation showing in his voice. “It wouldn't be a legal document...the oaths wouldn't be legally binding...”
“They would be when we made them...in that moment...when we stand at that alter...it would be real...it would be official, and legal...Uepi I want more than just the words...I want it to be real...”
“Well it won't be real to me...not until our own nation accepts it.”
Taguchi let out a frustrated noise “Can't you even consider it? For me? Even if it means nothing to you, can you try to understand how important it is to me?”
“I understand.” Ueda assured him. “And I do feel bad for not being able to give you what you want...but I won't...”
“Why not?” Taguchi argued back, his voice louder with his rising emotion “If like you say, you know that it won't mean anything afterwards, and if it won't change anything the way you see it, then why are you so against it?”
“Because it will be different, because I'll know that we tried to do what we couldn't...Junno I like things the way they are now, what we have is special, and unique, and I don't want to try and force our relationship into a role that it shouldn't fit into...we can't get married...so why are you so desperate to pretend?”
“I don't see it as pretending...”
“Well I do...and I won't do it...” Ueda said with finality.
“So that's it?” Taguchi asked angrily. “That's you final word on the matter?”
“Yes.” he answered surely. Taguchi bit at his lip a little bit, but he made no other response, and as the minutes of silence dragged on, Ueda felt increasingly more uncomfortable. Eventually he had to break the silence. “Junno, don't be mad at me...I already said that I didn't want to break up with you...I just can't marry you...and I mean think about it...even if it were legal here, what kind of a marriage would we have? We can't live together...it wouldn't take reporters long to figure it out, a bribe here and there...they could get hold of a copy of our lease...it could ruin us...”
Taguchi pouted a little “What if we just moved into the same building, we could keep separate apartments and we'd be less likely to get caught sneaking over to see each other...I mean if we're going to keep this up then we'd have to think of something like that eventually.
The idea itself wasn't so bad, he supposed, it would certainly be less risky. “OK, I'll give you that one...it's a pretty sensible idea...but still...what about all the other stuff married couples are supposed to enjoy...dinner parties and joint back accounts and whatever...we can't even tell anyone we're together...think how your mum would feel if she found out you went and got married without telling her...”
The last one seemed to get through to Taguchi a little. “I still want to...”
Ueda couldn't help but laugh “You're so pushy.”
Taguchi's face twitched up into a reluctant smile too “Well you're so stubborn...”
“It's that unstoppable force and immovable object argument...”
Taguchi laughed, bowing his head in concession “So how does that story end?”
Ueda smirked a little “I'm pretty sure they agree to drop the subject for now, shut the dogs away in the kitchen and then go have make-up sex...”
“Sounds like a good ending to me” Taguchi smirked back, already on his feet and ushering the dogs away. Once they were safely shut away, he went back to take Ueda's hand, pulling him to his feet and along the hallway to the bedroom. “Hey, if you're the unmoving one...does that mean I get to top?”
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Sorry for the lack of update last week and for the late update this week, in apology I intend to post chapter 14 straight away :)
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Date: 2013-04-01 04:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-14 09:42 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading ^_^
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Date: 2013-04-01 05:37 pm (UTC)Okay, to be honest when they were arguing I was holding my breath think this is where the next big angsty thing kicks in. But after that I was like...oh that's a lover's spat xD And they're just so cute at it!
I get how Junno's frustrated and all and how stubborn Uepi is. I guess when it comes down to this their difference in opinion is really great now huh? But I'm glad they managed to cool it off, I liked how they did it too! It shows how much they've grown as a couple i think.
'Taguchi laughed, bowing his head in concession “So how does that story end?”
Ueda smirked a little “I'm pretty sure they agree to drop the subject for now, shut the dogs away in the kitchen and then go have make-up sex...”'
My fav lines!! But oh you know when I saw your updates the first thing I checked was the ratings (aww no NC-17 T.T and I was craving for some smutty inspiration too xD Oh well I know you can't keep away from smut for that long so I'll wait xD)
Anyway onwards to chapter 14~!! (super happy about the double-update btw!! *w* *glomps*)
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Date: 2013-04-14 09:51 pm (UTC)I'm glad the little spat didn't upset you too much, and yes, nothing beats a little make up sex :D
Unfortunately...I didn't manage to write that make-up sex...I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't seem to get in the right frame of mind for JunDa smut right now T_T though I do have a oneshot still in progress.
Thank you for reading and commenting as always!
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Date: 2013-04-01 05:59 pm (UTC)thanks for the update
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Date: 2013-04-14 09:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-03 05:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-14 09:51 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading and commenting!
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Date: 2013-04-06 08:33 pm (UTC)I'm glad they talked about it, although it seems like it isn't over yet.
I like Ueda's ending, too! XD
Off to read the next chapter~
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Date: 2013-04-14 09:53 pm (UTC)I'm glad that I timed the update right for you though :D Thanks for reading!
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Date: 2013-04-14 10:52 pm (UTC)I was kept occupied with stuff during those ten days, so I didn't miss it that badly. Only in the evening when I felt it'd be nice to read some fanfic or watch some video before going to sleep.