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thesecretdoorPairing: JunDa
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1387
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and only the words are mine.
Summary: All they wanted was each other, just to be together the way they once were. But now that they have it, is that still enough?
A/N: I'd like to dedicate this last chapter to
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pandanyan for her birthday :D Happy Birthday Pan-chan, I hope I get at least a tiny smile out of this!24th March 2014
It had been five weeks, five weeks of cold shoulders and being ignored. It was breaking Ueda's heart. He'd tried not to let it show though, occupying himself fully with work whenever he could and the gym whenever he couldn't. He knew he only had himself to blame and despite his efforts to be friends, Taguchi kept insisting he needed time and space, so that's what he was giving him.
Maru had been keeping him company too, on most nights that he was free, taking him out to dinner and hanging out at home watching movies.
“How is he?” Ueda asked on one such evening, and not for the first time.
“He's alright.” Maru answered, and then he rolled his eyes at Ueda's begging expression. “The same, he's still not his usual self, but he's alright. I think he's sleeping a little better. He ate a little more than usual when we went out the other day”
Ueda nodded, hanging on every word “That's good, I'm really glad for him...has he...has he mentioned me at all?”
He could tell from Maru's face that he wanted to say yes, but he let out a long sigh and shook his head truthfully. “We're still trying not to mention you too...I think it upsets him just thinking about you.”
He felt his chest throbbing with hurt but he blinked back the tears that were threatening, reminding himself that he deserved everything he got. “Yeah...I can imagine.”
Maru turned to face him. “Ueda, I'm really sorry for the ways things have turned out between you two, but you've just got to hang in there and maybe he'll come around...if not then, maybe things just weren't meant to be...”
It was too much, the thought of them remaining like that for the rest of their lives was just too painful to think about. “But I love him.” Ueda pleaded. “I love him so much...can't you just tell him that?”
“He knows...” Maru replied with a sad finality. “There's no point in telling him, it's obvious the way you feel about him, but you can't push him...”
He knew it was true but he just wanted so much for something, anything to bring them just that little bit closer.
26th March 2014
His wish was granted only two days later when they were pushed together for a photo-shoot and crosstalk. They managed to plaster on their fake smiles and wave at the camera, pull funny poses, laugh together as though they're the best of friends, but the whole time Ueda's chest felt empty inside, like he was so close to falling into nothing. He could tell Taguchi felt a similar fate by the look in his eyes, a stark contrast to the brightness of his smile.
The interview only got harder, the questions regarding things they'd like to do together were easy enough to keep on work but the last question had Ueda's mouth drying up. 'What are your recent impressions of each other.' I love him, Ueda wanted so answer, but it wasn't the time or the place. Instead he commented on how strong he thinks Taguchi is, concentrating 100% on work and giving it his all no matter what his personal circumstances. And then he waited with bated breath for Taguchi's reply.
“I think he's a very determined person.” Taguchi answered cautiously. “I like that once he finally manages to settle his mind on something, he refuses to give it up, regardless of how hopeless it might seem.”
It was like a double edged blade plunging straight through his heart. It was enough that Taguchi had used the term 'like' in regard to him, but the idea of his desires being hopeless twisted the knife a little deeper.
By the time he'd packed his things together to leave, he was feeling torn. On one had he was elated by their successful interaction, and on the other he felt sad that it had all been for show.
Slowly he made his way back to his car, and headed to the gym to let off a little steam. Then he went home to his lonely apartment, to shower, take care of the dogs and then figure out how to distract himself for the rest of the night.
He hadn't written music in such a long time, so he sat himself down at his piano and tried to play through pieces he knew in the hopes it would bring on some inspiration. He'd been hoping there would be concert announcements soon, not only because he loves live concerts, but because the distraction of preparing would be more than welcome. He'd decided he wanted to write something again for the next concerts, so as he sat there, hour after hour he waited for inspiration to come.
Just as he felt he was finally getting somewhere, there was another sound, a different musical tinkling, his phone, he realised, and part of him wanted to ignore it, but he got up with a sigh anyway, it could be work.
It wasn't. Ueda had to take a second look when he saw Taguchi's name flashing across the screen. Nervously he pressed the answer button and raised it to his ear.
“Hello...” he said quietly, but instead of Taguchi's voice, he was greeted with music, a familiar song. One that he knew the meaning to. Baby Blue.
He swallowed hard and then almostt whispered. “I'm on my way.” before dashing out of the apartment.
He let himself in when he arrived, running straight into the living room to find Taguchi standing in the centre of the room, his phone still clutched in his hand.
“Junno...” he asked tentatively.
“Tatsuya” was Taguchi's desperate reply, and then he was rushing forward, pulling Ueda into the tightest of embraces. All he could do was hold on, squeezing as tightly as he could as Taguchi shook with quiet sobs, and answering tears rolled down his own cheek.
“I want to forget you, but I can't, I miss you so much, I miss everything...” Taguchi sobbed.
“It's OK, we'll be alright, we'll figure it out together. Let's just move on OK? Let's just be together?”
Taguchi nodded, looking deeply into Ueda's eyes and his voice was almost pleading when he spoke. “I've been thinking about it, about everything, thinking through every fight we've had, finding every reason I can to hate you. But they're nothing, nothing compared to the good things. There's been so much going on that it doesn't feel like that any more, and I keep telling myself that it's because the feelings aren't there any more, that we've forgotten them...”
“I haven't.” Ueda insisted.
“I haven't either...things just got so confusing...we just got lost for a while. But we don't need to be...if we try then we can find our way back...”
Ueda nodded. “We can.” He believed it too.
“We'll put everything else aside OK? We won't think about marriage and houses and the future...let's just concentrate on what we have now”
He nodded again “We already have so much to be grateful for...we just need to go back to the start and remind ourselves...”
He was cut off by Taguchi's lips pressing hard against his own, and then his world was turned on it's head a moment later when Taguchi's arms were tight around him, his tongue invading his mouth as his feet left the floor. In the next moment he found himself pressed down against something soft, but his mind was still spinning too much from Taguchi's tongue to remember how he got there.
Taguchi pulled away long enough to let an appreciative look wander over him and it sent a shiver down Ueda's spine. Taguchi's eyes were still red and wet from tears but now there was hunger in them. His mouth widened into a smile that Ueda had missed so much it hurt. “I remember how it all started.”
Ueda smirked back at him, his heart pounding in excitement as he put all of his weight into pushing Taguchi off of him and reversing their positions. He leaned down to kiss Taguchi again, all passion and raw feeling, all teeth and tongues battling for dominance until he couldn't take it any more. “Roll over then, I want you on your hands and knees.”
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Well...that's it for part 4. It's a little rushed but I wanted to get it back to the start before the end, and I just could't stand to drag the angst out any longer...I'm sure you all agree that's enough for now :) I have every intention of starting on part 5 when I get chance, but it might be a few weeks before the first chapter is posted. Anyways, thank you to everyone who is still with me, and especially to those of you that leave comments, you guys really are fuel for my motivation.
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Date: 2013-07-08 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-30 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-31 05:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-08 05:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-30 09:36 pm (UTC)I'm really glad that you liked it and a huuuge thank you for sticking with me all this way :) I haven't started writing part 5 yet but I have everything planned out so I'm excited to get started :)
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Date: 2013-07-08 08:56 am (UTC)I love how they got back together! And the last line! ;)
Now I'm really curious what the last obstacle is you have for them. No need to hurry with part 5, but... please post it soon? XD
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Date: 2013-07-30 09:39 pm (UTC)As for part 5, it's all planned out, and there certainly will be an obstacle or two but hopefully it won't be quite as angsty as it has been so far!
Thank you for sticking with me all this way!
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Date: 2013-07-08 01:53 pm (UTC)though TBH, I almost thought that this chapter will bring the angst in order to connect to Part 5Well, they can't just get angry at each other forever, right?
Thank you for sharing *_*
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Date: 2013-07-30 09:40 pm (UTC)Thank you continuing reading all this way!
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Date: 2013-07-08 02:57 pm (UTC)But that was exactly the angst that I like! It was heartbreaking at first but I'm so glad they got back together~ and in the most perfect way too with Baby Blue playing TwT
'His mouth widened into a smile that Ueda had missed so much it hurt. “I remember how it all started.â€'
TwT That line got me the most!!! <3 Oh just imagining how much Uepi missed Junno's smile was just killing me >w< but now they're back together and all's well~!!
'“Roll over then, I want you on your hands and knees.â€'
AND RIGHT BACK TO SMEXY BUSINESS~!! *w* Oh I love these two! <3
I'm very excited on what part 5 will be about (...more angst right? =w= I think I'm used to it by now so I should be fine...hopefully xD) But whee take your time with it and I'll be ready with my flaily comments as always =D
Thanks for sharing with us this wonderful series for 4 parts already~ whee!! *hugs*
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Date: 2013-07-30 09:45 pm (UTC)I'm glad it made you happy though, they had to get back together in the end of course! I'm glad you liked the setting, it's actually not what I originally planned for the end of part 4...in all honesty the getting back together situation is kind of the opposite to what I'd planned >_< It just means I'll have to find another way to get back on track for part 5! Either way it had to end with some smexyness though, there's not been nearly enough of it in this part!
Thank you for the lovely comments you always leave, I'm really happy that you liked it and that you've stuck with me this far :D
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Date: 2013-07-09 10:56 pm (UTC)gr8 chapter as always sweetie =)
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Date: 2013-07-30 09:46 pm (UTC)Thank you for sticking with us this far too, and for always leaving lovely comments!
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Date: 2013-07-11 12:52 am (UTC)I do not like longer angst part either XD
A view weeks, hmm. It will be at Uepi b'day. Hehe
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Date: 2013-07-30 09:48 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading and hopefully if you keep reading part 5, it won't be quite as angsty!
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Date: 2013-08-04 12:46 pm (UTC)just notice me so i won't miss it kay ^^
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Date: 2013-08-04 12:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-20 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-23 02:36 pm (UTC)Thank you for the lovely comments you've been leaving me, not only did they make me really happy, but they reminded me that there are people (hopefully) still waiting for the conclusion of this fic and it's given me motivation to get cracking with it again. I don't have that much time for writing these days but I'm gradually getting there!
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Date: 2014-04-03 06:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-04-21 06:54 am (UTC)Unfortunately, my enthusiasm for the story isn't quite what it used to be, or rather I have other projects I'm working on that are more interesting to me, and since I don't have as much time to write these days, I've been prioritising other things :( I have posted the first two chapters of part five, and I have a couple more that are mostly if not completely written so it will get posted but it may be slowly!
I'm really sorry to keep you waiting on this series, I really appreciate you sticking by it and I promise it will get finished, please hang in there ♥