[multichapter] baby blue part 2 chapter 9

[thesecretdoor]

Title: Baby Blue: Part 2: Chapter 9
Pairing: JunDa
Rating: PG-15 (for language)
Word Count: 2224
Disclaimer: I still haven't found a way to make them my slaves yet...
Summary: It was all supposed to end with the tour...but what if they can't stop? What if they won't stop? How will it affect their relationship, and their relationships with those closest to them?

June 2^nd 2012

“It smells delicious” Ueda sang as he entered the kitchen, clean from his shower, his dogs clearly thought so too as Taguchi was fighting to keep them from stealing food from the sideboards while he was trying to cook. “Hey, hey now, get down” he shouted at the dogs “Just cos he’s a push-over there’s no need to take advantage of him.” Then he laughed happily at the pout on Taguchi’s face “You know I’m going to run out of pyjamas if you keep stealing them...you still haven’t returned the last ones you borrowed” he added taking in Taguchi’s attire.

“They’re comfy though” Taguchi replied, his pout turning into one of his trademark sparkling smiles. “Go set the table it’s almost ready.”

Less than ten minutes later they were sat comfortably across from each other at the small table in Ueda’s living room, the dogs shut safely away in the kitchen again.

“OK, Junno...we need to talk...” Ueda said after a long silence.

Taguchi smirked at his serious tone “You’re not breaking up with me are you?”

“Baka” Ueda reprimanded, hitting his leg under the table “I’m being serious...”

“Is this what the whole Kame thing was about?” Taguchi asked, this time trying to be serious.

“Yeah...so basically he said he’s not going to interfere with us anymore...or try to tell us what to do, but he asked, as our friend he said, to think seriously about what it is we’re doing...”

“I’ve thought about it, I know what we’re doing...” Taguchi replied nonchalantly.

“Well what is it then?”

“We’re friends...really good friends...but with benefits...we get along well, we have fun, we take care of each other’s needs, and then we go to work and both feel better for it...it’s simple” he replied just as carelessly.

“Junno, I don’t think you’re taking this seriously...”

“No, I’m not...I don’t want to take it too seriously because it isn’t serious...if you said you wanted to marry me or something...that’d be serious, but this...we’re just the same, only a little more intimate...”

Ueda frowned “What so, because we’re not in a relationship it wouldn’t matter if you hurt my feelings or something?”

“I’d like to think I wouldn’t hurt your feelings...if something is getting to you then tell me and I’ll stop before I hurt your feelings...that’s what I’ve been saying all along, you need to talk to me instead of getting all angsty on me...”

Ueda’s frown deepened, Taguchi did kind of have a point. “Well...I mean that’s beside the point...Kame had a lot of really interesting questions and I think it’d be good for both of us if we at least talk about them ok? Find out where exactly we stand...”

“If that’ll make you feel better...what’s the first question?”

“I don’t know...I can’t remember everything alright, but, he said have things changed between us since we started this?”

Taguchi didn’t even take a moment to think “Of course...”

“What? You think they have?” Ueda asked shocked.

“Sure...not in a bad way but yeah, we’re a lot closer now I think, and you know, we can be open with each other about more stuff...that’s got to mean we trust each other more and feel more comfortable with each other, right?”

“I guess...” Ueda replied thoughtfully “But it’s not like, in a weird way right?”

Taguchi laughed “What do you mean? How could I trust you in a weird way?”

“You know, it’s like a ‘we trust each other so we’re better friends’ way right? Not an ‘I’m in love with you’ kind of way.”

“Tatsuya, you’re being ridiculous ok?” Taguchi snorted. “Ok so first question, yes things have changed between us but not in a way that we need to worry about...”

“Ok, so what if things kept on changing between us...what if we, you know, had feelings for each other or something?”

Taguchi tried to be serious again, “Of course feelings could develop between us, we’re friends and we have this new intimacy, so it’s only natural if our feelings towards each other start changing. But as long as we don’t let things get out of hand...I don’t see why that should be a problem...”

“It can’t be good for us though...”

Taguchi nodded thoughtfully “If things got out of hand it wouldn’t...but as long as we talk about stuff we can catch it in time, then we can just stop this before anyone’s feelings go too far...and one of us ends up getting hurt”

“And could we do that? Just stop...we couldn’t do it before when there weren’t feelings involved, won’t it just be harder if there are feelings?” Ueda asked doubtfully.

“I think we could...it’s like when you get a crush on that girl in school, but then you find out she already has a boyfriend, and he’s older than you and could totally kick your ass...so you move on and find someone else to aim for. See, before when we agreed we couldn’t stop, it was more that neither of us wanted to stop...or saw any reason why we should...if we had the right motivation I think we could...”

Ueda had to admit it kind of made sense “Ok, so say that happened, and we decided to stop? Could we just be ok with each other?”

“I don’t see why not...maybe for a little while it’d be a little weird, but once the feelings had calmed down I don’t see why we couldn’t just stay friends...”

Ueda nodded slowly “And you think we could pretend like everything’s alright?”

“We’re both good actors...” Taguchi shrugged.

Ueda sat in silence for a few moments, thinking. “Ok, so last question, most important one...The stuff you’ve said, maybe you’re right, maybe it will be that simple...but if it’s not...if something goes terribly wrong and we get hurt or can’t work together anymore, and it messes everything up for the whole group...is what we have now, worth that risk?”

Taguchi gave the question a little consideration. “Ok well firstly, if it did get to that stage, all of that wouldn’t be happening for the sake of what we have now, it’d be for the sake of whatever it was that got us into that mess...and since we can’t predict what that would be, there’s no way to know whether or not it’s worth it...secondly, the whole point of all the other stuff, keeping our feelings in check and stuff, that’s so we don’t get to the stage of not being able to work together...”

“But relationships are unpredictable aren’t they? We can’t know for sure we’d definitely be able to stick to those steps and stuff...right?” Ueda argued back concerned.

“True, but it’s not just this relationship that’s unpredictable, there’s as much chance something goes wrong and I can’t work with you anymore, as there is of something going wrong...say with Koki...maybe we have some sort of fight or argument and can’t work together...say Koki goes for one of Maru’s sister’s and they fall out and can’t work together....”

“I guess...I don’t know...I’m confused!” Ueda stuttered back “I didn’t expect you to have so many answers...”

“Just because I’m not taking it too seriously, it doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about this stuff...” there was another long pause “So has the jury reached a verdict?”

“I guess it’s like you said, as long as we can be sensible with our feelings, and stop before things go too far, and if we’re discrete about it...then I don’t see why we should stop...” Ueda nodded with finality.

“Sounds good to me” Taguchi nodded happily.

“Hey Junno...how do we know though...if our feelings are getting out of hand?”

“I think it’s just one of those things you know...like right now, I have feelings for you, like, I like you, as more than a friend, and I care about you, but I know what this is, and if you suddenly came to me and said you’d met a really great girl and you thought there could be some future for you with her...I wouldn’t begrudge you that...I’d happily let you go and support your relationship with her...but if it got to a point that I couldn’t say that...then maybe my feelings were getting a little too strong...”

Ueda nodded again thoughtfully “You know...you’re actually pretty smart...if this career ever fails, you should totally write for an advice column or something.”

Taguchi laughed, “You think so? Well, you know actually...you worry too much, so maybe you could write in to me sometimes...”

Ueda laughed and smacked him on the leg again. He couldn’t explain what it was, but something about the other man soothed him. He’d thought over and over those questions, and though he didn’t exactly have all the answers, other than that for now, what they were doing was ok, he never imagined talking to Taguchi about it would make him feel so light about it. Maybe the other man was right, maybe he did just worry too much...the way he could see it now, everything seemed so simple.

“Come on then” Ueda said once they’d finished eating “You can wash the pots, and I’ll brush all that sand off the dogs...”

“You know...I said I like you...and you didn’t even say anything back...that’s kind of rude” Taguchi teased as he stood up collecting the pots together.

“What is there to say...telling you I accept your feelings would be kind of silly when I’ve been fucking you for months already...”

Taguchi snorted in laughter “I guess...but you could say it back...”

“But I don’t...” Ueda replied trying nonchalance. He’d fought with himself a lot over his feelings for Taguchi but he’d refused, so far, to admit to himself that he did have feelings for the other man”

“Right...” Taguchi teased again, jabbing him in the ribs.

“I don’t...just because I like having sex with you...and maybe spending time with you is ok...and if I maybe don’t mind having you take care of me a little...that doesn’t mean I like you...” he snapped back, blushing maddeningly at his admissions.

“If you say so...” Taguchi sing-songed as he went back for the rest of the pots, a smirk lighting up his face.

 “And even if I did...it would only be like...the tiniest amount possible” he conceded, rather quietly in the hope that Taguchi didn’t hear him. But he was out of luck as Taguchi burst into a fit of delighted giggles before rushing back into the room to trap him in a hug and press kisses all over his face.

“See that wasn’t so hard now was it?” Taguchi teased further.

“Get off me” Ueda snapped trying to push him away “Stop it, you’re gross, even if I did like you, it’s not like we’re a couple or anything.” He kept on pushing and eventually he managed to get out of Taguchi’s hold, the younger man was still smiling stupidly though. “Those pots aren’t going to wash themselves...”

“Fine, fine...” Taguchi said, sobering up a little, but he added hopefully “You know...it’s still early...maybe afterwards we could watch a movie or something?”

“Hmm, we’ll see...” Ueda replied smiling, though he had no intention of refusing, he wasn’t really mad at Taguchi’s silly behaviour, if he was honest with himself he actually found it a little charming...sometimes...but only a little.

Once they were finished they put on a random movie and sat at opposite ends of the sofa, but Ueda soon began feeling sleepy.

Taguchi looked over and saw him almost nodding off “Lay down if you’re tired, you can take a nap”.

Ueda had thought about it, but his sofa wasn’t big enough to lay on with Taguchi in the way. “There’s no room, I’m fine...”

Taguchi laughed “No you’re not” he held out an arm “Come here, you can rest on me...” Ueda cast him a sceptical look. “I promise I won’t tell anyone...”

Ueda thought for a moment, but then gave in, laying down with his head in Taguchi’s lap “Only because I’m tired ok?”

“Ok” Taguchi agreed as he started running fingers through his hair.

“Junno” Ueda mumbled sleepily a few minutes later “What does it feel like?”

“What does what feel like?” Taguchi asked back, smiling at Ueda’s cute expression.

Ueda rolled onto his back to look up into Taguchi’s face “What does it feel like when I’m inside you?”

Taguchi’s eyes widened a little in surprise, but he contemplated the question for a minute “It’s...It’s not like any else...I don’t know how to describe it, it just feels incredible...like being stretched thin and stroked soothingly at the same time. And everything feels like it’s on fire with sensation...and then when you hit my prostate it’s like...like a jolt of electricity so powerful that it curls me in on myself” when he looked back down Ueda was smiling wide, but sleepily at him. “Why?”

Ueda shook his head “I just wondered, you seem to like it a lot...”

Taguchi laughed but nodded “I wish you’d let me show you sometime”

Ueda’s smile turned a little coy “Maybe...”

Taguchi’s jaw actually dropped “Really?”

“If you play your cards right” he replied a little smugly, though the effect was ruined by a yawn. He rolled over then and Taguchi resumed running his fingers through the soft hair. Within minutes Ueda’s breathing had turned to gentle snores.

Chapter 10
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Ok, firstly I want to apologise for the huuuuge delay posting this, I wanted to go over some last minute edits and RL just refused to grant me both the time and the right frame of mind both at the same time. That being said, even now that I've had the time to edit it again, I'm still not 100% happy with it. Honestly, I've re-written parts of this chapters so many times over and with completely different tones each time that I'm just driving myself batty trying to figure out where I am with it. So...this version seems to read through ok to me, and I think I got all the important stuff that I wanted to be said in there. So I hope it's alright, and you guys aren't disappointed with it. Next chapter will be up in a few days and from here on out we're getting back to the main storyline a bit, and just a heads up there will be bigger jumps in time from here on too (just in case anyone is following the timeline of their relationship or anything). Thank you for being patient with me guys ^__^ 

Comments

[krystal-32206.livejournal.com]

OMG! The 'talk'...I thought it would be more...hmm..serious. XD

I wasn't expecting Junno to just take it lightly and have all the answers to Tatsuya's questions. I really thought that it would be him who'll be confused with his feelings, not Tat-chan. ;)

I can't wait to read what will happen next!
Thanks for the update!

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

I re-wrote this lots of times because it was hard deciding how their reactions would be, but in the end I went with this just because it's what felt most natural.

I don't know if Junno really isn't taking it seriously, or if it's just that it's how Junno is when he's unsure about something - just smile and pretend it's all fine. Lol, I tried writing it both ways...but then I chickened out and wrote it more from Ueda's POV >_< I'll leave it up to you guys to decide for yourselves what Junno's real feelings are!

Thank you for reading though, and for your comment too!! I hope you weren't disappointed that it wasn't how you expected!!!

[krystal-32206.livejournal.com]

No! No! I'm definitely not disappointed.
In fact, it was a nice surprise. ;)
You might have a point there, though. Junno might be hiding his true feelings underneath that mega-watt smile of his. :)

[lisa loftsdóttir (from livejournal.com)]

amazing chapter as always
cant wait for the next one =)

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

Thank you :D I'm glad you liked it!!

[racanai.livejournal.com]

Wow, Junno really thought about what they are - although I have the feeling his answers are kind of because he wants to keep it like it is! XD And how casually he admitted he likes Ueda! And it's really cute how Ueda begins to admit he has feelings for Junno at leats the tiniest bit. ^^
I hope Junno will soon find a way to "play his cards right"! ;D

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

Indeed he did think about it a lot, but you could be right, he may be glossing over a few things, or being a general in the hopes of keeping things the way they are :)

But I did have to have a little bit of confession...I was worried I'd be shot if I had them deny their feelings completely (still) >_< though Uepi was quite reluctant about it!

Hehe, you'll have to wait and see what happens in the next chapter :P

[pandanyan.livejournal.com]

Again I just love how these two are just so darn comfortable with each other!

The talk was sweet~ I'm glad they managed to clear things up, Ueda sounds like he needs to open up a little to his own feelings though >.< but I like how Junno effortlessly knows what he wants and where he stands with Ueda ^^ and all that cute teasing with these two~~ awww >w<

And that last scene! w00ts! Yes Junno! Play your cards right!! xD *lol getting a little to overexcited for uke!Ueda apparently ._.*

Anyway just want to say I love how this is developing and D= don't stress yourself too much over rewriting the chapters either way I think I'll still love how the story goes >w< Thanks for the update~~! <3

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it :D

It certainly seems like Ueda is a lot more comfortable with Junno than he is with his own feelings >_< I think he's just a little confused and maybe scared of how he feels...it's a good thing he's got Junno there to make him see sense though!!

Hehe, I hope the next chapter lives up to your expectations too!!!

Also thank you for your lovely words of encouragement!! I think I stress out far too much over my writing :( I think it's because I've gotten so invested in these characters/events in my head and I worry I'm not making them as awesome in words as they appear in my imagination, lol. I'll try and chill out a little more though...I'm mostly happy with the rest of the chapters of part 2 (and I've already started writing part 3 >_< I think I have an addiction!)

Thank you for reading <3

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

Hehe, I'm glad you're looking forward to the next one :D I hope it's all you want it to be :P

[kissmegreen.livejournal.com]

Awww, this must be your longest chapter ^^
I look forward to the jump dates... more progress, right? ^^

First up... I love their lil talk... I think you portrayed Junno just the way I see him in real life.... seemingly carefree but very much thoughtful... like making what seems complicated as the simplest thing ever~

And the fluff fluff fluff.... I love my fluff!!!!!!!

I was just grinning like crazy at the 'I like you' bit and Ueda's feign denial is the cutest thing ever... and Junno's happiness at the 'small confession'...

I really love their dialogue here... it's warm and fuzzy and comfortable... Oh I want a stake out at their apartments and tune in first hand to their lil talks and action... very cute chapter...

but oh my... Junno could hardly get Tatchan to agree to giving him a blowjob yet Tatsuya seems 'opened' to the idea of giving Junno control.... wow... things have really changed between them.

Looking out for you again~

Happy Saturday!

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

Yup there will be a couple of slightly bigger jumps, just cos I wanted to skip ahead to the more interesting events :D

I'm glad you liked the way Junno is, I agree that he is probably much deeper and more considerate than he is given credit for!!!

And yay, you approve of the fluff :D I was a bit worried if I maybe overdid it a little bit >_< I was going to cut the little snippet where Uepi admits he might kind of have small feelings for him - but then I decided I like it too much and I couldn't bear to cut it!

Lol, I think Ueda is realising that trusting Junno isn't soo bad and that it's ok to let his guard down around him just a little when they're alone...so maybe opening up to new things is ok after all!

I'm glad you liked the chapter and I promise not to leave you waiting so long for the next one :P

[nikkimattei.livejournal.com]

This was written great! Although Junno kinda irked me with his take on their relationship. I'm not saying that what he said didn't make sense but he was making emotional and feeling and "catching feelings" so simplistic. Junno you're about to get bite in the behind by your emotions XD Can't wait.

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

:D I love this comment!! You hit the nail right on the head :) He's making it out like it is all so simple, like it's no problem to just stop liking someone if feelings go too far...but does he really believe that...or does he just want to believe that so that he has an excuse for things to continue the way they are!

Certainly there must be repercussions right? But you'll have to wait a little longer to find out :P

Thank you so much for reading and for your comment too :D

[nikkimattei.livejournal.com]

Your welcome and I am looking forward to Junno falling like a tree for Tatsuya LOL

Junno is smart he should know it won't be so simple; he just wants to be with Tatsuya <3

[mamushi-takki.livejournal.com]

oh dear how to be disappointed with it! it was so cute <3 gosh I love how this relationship is getting strong and they did notice it xD
they're kind of haughty to accept their feelings but, Junno is very shrewd lol
and of course I follow their relationship! <3
by the way I read the previous chapter and OMG *nosebleed* I forgot to comment sorry :P
Don't be so demanding with yourself ne? (^-^)b
and this deep talk was essential to understand everything *-*! or they think so xD

thank you a lot for sharing dear *huggles* <333

[thesecretdoor.livejournal.com]

Thank you!! I'm really happy you liked it (and the last one too)!!

Their relationship does seem to be getting stronger, and it's about time they finally admitted to that at least a little right? >_<

Thank you for your lovely comment too, I'll try and go easy on myself, lol, I just get frustrated at myself when I can't express what I'm feeling properly, and that makes it hard to try and define their feelings too >_< I'm really happy that you like it though!!!